Tuesday, February 28, 2006

On the train on a grey, beautifully miserable day. On the way back from Leeds. Villages around here are nestled in little valley after valley and are all built from the same greyish yellow brick, the same colour as the rest of the landscape. They all blend in and i think of mining towns. I imagine it would be an odd place to live, there seem to be no signs of civilisation.
On Saturday night i drank a bottle of wine and two pints and then i fell down a flight of stairs. I tumbled down to the basement room and sat in silence. "Are you ok? Are you ok?" I was fine after the initial shock, drunkeness is an invisible padding until the next morning, awaking with what is obviously brain damage, concussion, a broken jaw and a broken neck. Or perhaps just general pain in those areas of my body.

Monday, February 27, 2006

I need to start eating more than just cereal. I'm going to turn into a giant rice krispie.

Thursday, February 23, 2006

"Teenage mums, with their prams, are taking over the streets."

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

It was 53 degrees night, but with a twist. There were games and competitions like a school sports day and we decided it was only right that we took part. We were in the group wheelbarrow race - seven people instead of two creating a wheelbarrow. I was the hands at the front.
We had weeks of training to prepare ourselves, Sarah was our coach.
When race day came we were ready (afterall, we do go to the gym) and there we are, on the racetrack that they've created with fake grass and flags inside the club. Lots of people are cheering us on, we're so much better than the other team, they give us dirty looks. I have to remind my team mates "don't go too fast, my hands can't walk quickly enough and i lose my balance" and we have the philosophy that slow and steady wins the race because we spied on the other team while they were training and they were all over the place.
We're just about to start when my alarm clock wakes me up and i am confused because i feel like i should be waking up to a friday-after-the-thursday not a wednesday. The dream felt so real and i am mildly put out because i never found out if we won the race.
I reckon we did. Small boy who does sports journalism just walked past my window. He is really small.

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

I applied for a job in Anne Summers today, just because i need something to occupy my time (doing something other than thinkingthinkingthinkingthinking) and because it looks like it might be a fun place to work. The existing staff frighten me though.

Monday, February 20, 2006

It is bitterly cold today. I said "i think my face is going to freeze off." My ears went numb.

I have been thinking today how my relationship with A has changed over this term. It is like we are friends now, rather than two objects lumped together in a box to see what will happen. I like it. I like how she came to check i was ok after the disaster that was thursday night. I like how easy i find it to talk to her because she is so open with me. I like how she trusts me because it means that i trust her.
It seems now that maybe thursday wasn't such a disaster after all. Although i am still finding myself lying awake for prolonged periods of time because it's taking over my brain. I get all twitchy, i can't lie still. My eyes hurt and then i can't sleep.
I saw the girl today that i think hates me because of him. I hope she does. I like it when people hate me because of futile, pointless things when they don't even know me.

Sunday, February 19, 2006

I seem to no longer need sleep. I was awake until after three last night and i still woke up again at half past nine. I had a dream about Jessica Simpson. Now it's the next day, i'm not even remotley tired, i've been reading the most boring book about journalism in the world and i'm thinking about the fact i have already been back at university for over a month and where oh where has all the time gone? I found my purple folder with all my pages and pages of writing in it and i missed the part of me that used to be able to come out with words like that. I'd quite like it back.

Friday, February 17, 2006

Absence makes the heart grow fonder.

I'll be back later for a proper chat.

Thursday, February 16, 2006

I got a valentines day text message. Hahahahaha

Bye___________________________