Wednesday, August 31, 2005

Crossing the i's and dotting the t's

Sunday, August 21, 2005

"This wallpaper will be the death of me- one of us will have to go"
"A fat woman should not play the concertina"
"Since i gave up hope i feel much better" Going out always produces the same results, the same people, the same faces, the same music and the same skinny jeans, waistcoats and straightened hair. Straightened until all the life is ironed out of it. On thursday the place was full to bursting with excited, drunk teenagers overwhelmed with the joy of passing their A-levels, the sudden sense of freedom, full of happiness and the prospect of the new life they would soon be embarking upon. I wish i still felt that innocently excited and optimistic.

I should have gone to that party. I knew it.

Saturday, August 20, 2005

Today John cut my hair. Sitting on the little stool in his kitchen, a linoleum floor, Stephen bringing me magazines and Adam becoming Nicole's psychologist for half an hour. He wrote down all the bookings and appointments. So now i once again have the fringe that i have endured growing out for the past 10 months. My mum said "it is very Cleopatra-ish" and she then said "he's done it well, it doesn't swamp your face." I don't think she used to like my fringe, when we were at East Carlton park a few years ago (i was unwell and it was winter so i was trussed up in a scalf and a hat, with the bottom of my hair whipping around my face in the wind) she said i looked like a little ghost. She said it secretly to my Auntie, but i heard. And here is Noddy.

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

Olivia came for a flying visit, we flew to Northampton to see Arctic Monkeys and ended up seeing Noddy in his car, whizzing around the roundabout.

Sunday, August 14, 2005

So i have a fat lip. I have not been in a fight, i think i have an ulcer. Rachel said "that's what you get when you are feeling run down." I am feeling run down, i am feeling run down and run over, over and over by a large truck steamrolling my emotions onto the tarmac. Rachel slept on my couch last night, i was going to sleep with her, curled up at the end, but i got a stiff neck and so i crawled up to my bedroom and left the light on; it invaded my dreams. This afternoon i dreamt some more, in my jeans and sweater, with Radiohead playing for the first time in ages. I was reading, when i woke up my book had fallen onto the floor.

Monday, August 08, 2005

I should have been in London on Saturday night. I should have been seeing an excellent band with an excellent person but i wasn't. And the reason i wasn't there was because i did a good deed for someone which backfired in my face. Ray said to me "Jacky this is what you get when you are nice." So i have decided to continue to grow into a bitter, selfish person and never be nice again. I did take a frog down to the river in a bucket instead of leaving it helplessly hopping around my garden so i feel like i have helped the environment and conservation. I think my niceness only extends to animals.

Instead of going to London i went to the usual haunts and was followed round all night and had a bottle of Budweiser dropped on my left foot which has now turned into a grey, perfectly round shaped bruise. I get injured quite a lot. I am going to wrap myself up in cotton wool from now on.

p.s. Me and my sister are going to become dj's at a local club where you can guest dj on a thursday night. We will play some well bangin' tunes.

Saturday, August 06, 2005

So basically, to sum up:

AAARRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Monday, August 01, 2005

Last night there was an assassination attempt on the Prime Minister. Perhaps you heard about it? There was a lot of television coverage, reporters were buzzing and radio phone-in lines were going crazy. Being as i am a close personal friend of the Prime Minister there were concerns for my safety so i was taken by black limousine, along with the Queen and Elton John, to Dover so that we could escape by getting on a ferry over to France. There were bloody killings everywhere, in quirky Italian restaurants and in my Grandparent's driveway. Blood splattered on the petunias and the pansies.

Bye___________________________